I’m nearing the end of Ruth Haley Barton’s excellent book Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership. In Chapter 12, Finding God’s Will Together, she outlines a process for discerning God’s will as a group. The emphasis is on discernment. I’ve used some of these before, but I found this to be the best explanation and most complete process I’ve heard described.

I really appreciate Barton’s emphasis on both solitude and group. I really appreciate her statement that combines spiritual community with spiritual leadership.

You get somewhere by discerning God’s will and doing it together.

1. Clarify the question for discernment.
2. Assemble the community of wise stakeholders who have used discernment processes in their individual lives. Involve people who are committed to the process of personal transformation, who have experienced personal discernment in their own decision-making.
3. Establish or re-affirm guiding principles that will govern the process. Discernment at the leadership level requires an extraordinary amount of safety in the group process. Trustworthy relationships are crucial. Discuss and agree on the values.
4. Begin with a prayer of quiet trust. Barton suggests this from the Book of Common Prayer:
   

   Oh God, by home we are guided in judgment,
   and who raises up for us light in the darkness:
   Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties,
   the grace to ask what you would have us to do;
   that your spirit of wisdom may save us from all false choices,
   and in your straight path we may not stumble;
   through Jesus Christ our Lord; Amen.

5. Pursue a state of indifference to anything but God’s will — nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. Ask “What needs to die in me in order for the will of God to come forth in and among us?”
6. Listen on many levels. Listen to our experiences. Listen to inner promptings by the Holy Spirit. Listen to fact and information. Listen to testimony from those most affected. Pay particular attention to distress, confusion, desolation and difficult emotions.
7. Listen within through periods of silence. Break up group meetings with periods of individual “listening prayer” where individuals spend time in silence focusing on a common passage, then share with each other what they heard from God from this passage regarding the question for discernment. Not all may hear something specific, while others may. Listen as a group to what each shares he or she heard from God. Manage group dynamics through periods of individual solitude. Allow dysfunctions to be named. Allow periods for self-awareness.
8. Select an option consistent with what God is doing among the group. If no single option stands out, identify 2 or 3 options and refine them. Ponder the options to see which sit well with the group, which bring consolation or desolation. Seek inner confirmation.
9. Agree together. Unity is the fundamental marker that God’s will has been discerned. As an expression of faith, thank God together for his presence and his gift of discernment.

You get somewhere by discerning God’s will and doing it together.

What do you think? How have you used a discernment process for hearing God’s direction and doing it?

There was another good interaction following my original blogference article.

My highly extroverted friend Rich asked: “Being alone drains me. How does an extrovert like me take advantage of “alone time” without me giving in and making contact with someone else? ”

I’m repeating this extension of the concept of solitude here in my blog. To read the original interaction, click here.

The article Solitude and Leadership outlined several components of solitude. One is: deep, intimate conversations where you hear your thoughts out loud in a safe environment.

The author Deresiewicz writes:

But there’s one more thing I’m going to include as a form of solitude, and it will seem counterintuitive: friendship. Of course friendship is the opposite of solitude; it means being with other people. But I’m talking about one kind of friendship in particular, the deep friendship of intimate conversation.

He continues:

Introspection means talking to yourself, and one of the best ways of talking to yourself is by talking to another person. One other person you can trust, one other person to whom you can unfold your soul. One other person you feel safe enough with to allow you to acknowledge things—to acknowledge things to yourself—that you otherwise can’t. Doubts you aren’t supposed to have, questions you aren’t supposed to ask. Feelings or opinions that would get you laughed at by the group or reprimanded by the authorities.

So, Mr. Extrovert, talk to a close friend!

The Blogference is continuing to generate good interaction even though (fortunately) the firehose flow is reduced somewhat!

Justin posted a very insightful comment in a different discussion thread called Get Over Yourself. I and others responded. I’m repeating the (slightly modified) response here since it’s another part of the Solitude as a Path discussion. You can read the full interaction here.

Time is often a forgotten factor in our immediate-focused world. We all grow throughout our career with CCC, however long it is. In the early years, we’re just trying to learn the skills, learn the methods, figure out which way is up. Think about all the things a new believer has to figure out about the Christian life. Much is by rote mimicking others in the early years. This is normal. It’s kind of like early childhood in which kids mimic the way parents talk and walk and hold their spoons and speak about others. This is the time of dependency.

But over time, the basics become second nature. That’s when the growing of Leadership skills really kicks in. That’s when it’s important to start testing out your own ideas and sharing them with others to see what they think. That’s when questioning is normal, often trash-talking the status quo. Think about adolescence and middle and high school. Even college years. It’s when we try out our own thoughts. It’s a time of independency.

Eventually we move into an adult world in which we learn how to be our own person but to value and respect others also. We learn how to collaborate where we can share our ideas while valuing others. We can give and take without our identity as a person being challenged. This is interdependency.

The challenge to us as leaders helping others develop is to help the process along over time. Recognize the stages. Accept where people are but also help them keep developing.

I really connected with the Greenleaf quote that Brian Virtue used in his post on Serving Self Leadership. The measure of our servant leadership is how well others develop as servant leaders. How well do they move from dependency through independency and into interdependency.

This is my contribution as 1 of 15 posts in RE-think: Campus Crusade’s 3rd Annual Blogference, running April 13-15, 2010. Please join the conversation.
Before you stick a “Leader” name badge on the next disciple who can share the Four Spiritual Laws without a single mistake, take heed. He can follow the process with excellence. But is he a leader? In our movement, we like to call everyone a “leader.” But then we’re stuck with how to separate the Leaders from the leaders. I’ve been interested in the process of developing Leaders for several years.

The author of Solitude and Leadership: If you want others to follow, learn to be alone with your thoughts has given me handles for some thoughts I’ve been wrestling with recently. His concern is that we train people to be world-class hoop jumpers who can achieve any goal set before them, pass any test, climb every mountain. Thought to be creating leaders, organizations are actually creating followers and bureaucrats–people who know how to achieve excellence within an existing system. Leaders, in contrast, are people who have the moral courage to develop their own ideas and argue for them even when they aren’t popular.

Christ Himself, a leader par excellence, frequently withdrew to focus His thoughts. The solitude of prayer and reflection is where strength, wisdom, and courage needed to lead well is refined.

This is the essence of self-directed leadership development. Concentrated, intentional time to think. To pray. To reflect. Slowing down. Developing and clarifying ideas in writing. Sharing those ideas with trusted others to see how they sound out loud. Asking–and answering–the hard questions.

I found such a time today while washing my cars. I received a message this morning from a friend telling me he would not lead his part of our organization to join a common direction we are pursuing. I found that the solitude of two hours working on my cars to be a very fruitful time to understand his thoughts and to refine my own. I’m now much better prepared to interact with him because I’m clearer about why I believe this direction is the best.

Memorizing facts and performing well are exemplary traits. But if our quest for achievement isn’t tempered with periods of quiet reflection on what we are actually trying to achieve, have we simply jumped another hoop and successfully failed to lead?

[This post was greatly improved through the excellent help of Karin Tome, who assists me in my Leadership in many ways.]

I will be taking part in the 2010 Campus Crusade for Christ Blogference. What is a blogference? It’s a conference without the con. You don’t travel anywhere. You can attend in your pajamas.

The blogference is 13-15 April. The focus is RE-Think. I’ll be writing on the topic Self-Directed Leadership Development. Come on by and comment.

Brian explains more…

You can join the Facebook fan page here. You can follow on Twitter at @cccblogference.

According to my Kindle, I am 32% through Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin. I think I like it now. I didn’t like it at first. The title grated against my understanding of humility and servant-leadership. The opening sections did nothing to change my perception.

But people I respect spoke highly of the book (such as Michael Hyatt here and here, especially since his company did not publish the book). Jay Lorenzen (onMovements) is reading it so I look forward to his thoughts.

It is growing on me. I’m intrigued by the concept of emotional labor. Some statements from Godin’s book:

• Emotional labor is the hard work of making art, producing generosity, and exposing creativity.
• Every interaction you have with a coworker or customer is an opportunity to practice the art of interaction [emotional labor].
• One of the most difficult types of emotional labor is staring into the abyss of choice and picking a path. [This is especially meaningful to me as a leader where I regularly stare into the abyss of choice and am responsible for leading us in a path towards our mission.]
• Emotional labor is available to all of us, but is rarely exploited as a competitive advantage. We spend our time and energy trying to perfect our craft, but we don’t focus on the skills and interactions that will allow us to stand out and become indispensable to our organization.

Then I thought about my partners in ministry — those who engage in the mission with Kay and me through faithful prayer, funding, and encouragement. Am I indispensable to them? Am I producing generously and creatively with them? Am I practicing effective emotional labor from their perspective?

I’m still working through thoughts. What about you? If you’ve read Linchpin and have thoughts, write them in the comments.

One of my favorite email newsletters is Breakfast with Fred. His newsletter today was powerful ways to grow yourself into a better person and a better leader.

I’m unable to find a way to link to it, so I am duplicating his newsletter of 16 Feb.

Self improvement is not short-term.  It is a way of life.  We can do quick sprints with shots of motivation, but it won’t last.  My friends call me Fat Fred for a very good reason —-I haven’t adopted a Svelte Smith way of life.  I eat grapefruit for awhile, then lapse back into gravy on the mashed potatoes.

Make a plan to change your thinking.  Make a plan to make self-development second nature.

I didn’t have the advantage of a college education, a monied background, or a network of contacts.  But, I knew I wanted to grow and to make something of myself.  I knew I needed a plan.  I analyzed my strengths, looked for mentors, and set a life mission.  For me, my epitaph will read “He stretched others.”

How does a young man from the mill district of North Nashville do this?  Here are four support posts in my development plan:

1. Read- We cannot be informed unless we read.  Unless we are informed, we are not improved.  However, reading must be in line with our development objectives.  I read broadly, but with discrimination. For example, I read the classics to stretch my mind, improve my vocabulary, and brighten my personality.  I read the scripture to strengthen my values and keep me focused on truth.  The old phrase, “Leaders are readers” is a simple way to say it.

2. Associate- We are all chameleon-like to some extent.  We take on the habits, actions, and thoughts of those around us.  Therefore, it is important to match our objectives with our associations.  It is not social climbing to identify and attach yourself to those who are higher than you and accomplish more than you do.  It is just good sense and good judgment.  If you want water, go to the well; if you want knowledge, go to the wise.

3. Speak – The ability to speak is important in all areas of life.  Accept all speaking opportunities and then prepare.  I actually enjoy the preparation much more than I do the delivery.  As I work on a talk I am “riding under the whip” and this results in growth.  Even if the talk bombs, no one can take away from you what you have learned as you prepared.  Speaking will give you poise before a group and poise before many results in poise before individuals.

4. Write – One of my favorite quotes is from Francis Bacon, “Writing makes an exact man.”  It is impossible to jot down on paper an understandable statement until you first understand it.  In speaking you can use gestures, voice inflections, eye contact, etc. and massage your point.  On paper, it must be exact.  My mentor, Maxey Jarman, always said “nothing is definite until it can be written down.”

As we develop, we are constantly surprised and excited by opportunity and challenge. A growing life is never boring.

This week think about: 1) What is my personal plan for self-development? 2) What is the latest book I’ve read? 3) What current thoughts would writing clarify?

When I saw you last, you mentioned the “making meetings POP” idea that you were using to have Purpose, Outcomes, Process of meetings clear.  Could you send me any links or materials you have on that? Thanks for any resources you can pass on!

That’s what my friend Erik wrote me yesterday. I thought “That’s easy. I’ll send him a link to the blog post I wrote.” But the post wasn’t on this site. I found it in the drafts section, never published. So, I’ve finished it and here it is.

I run a lot of meetings. I sit in many more. Most of my days are spent in meetings.

A successful businessman once confided to me that he would no longer attend a meeting of our organization until we moved the focus of our meetings from discussion to decision. Fortunately, they were not my meetings, but his words continue to echo through my mind frequently when I’m in meetings.

Now, there are several types of meetings. We can assemble for discussion, for fellowship, for worship, for prayer, for parties… But it’s important to be clear about the purpose of the meeting, especially a business meeting.

Meetings are not leadership. But a good meeting can be an effective tool of leadership.

So, what makes “good meeting”?

Some online definitions of good. Some of my favorites in this context are:

• effective. exerting force or influence
• most suitable or right for a particular purpose

Some online definitions of meeting:

• a formally arranged gathering
• the social act of assembling for some common purpose

I’ve found a few resources that help me assemble colleagues together so that we exert force or influence in a way that is suitable for the particular purpose.

I’ve been greatly influenced by the article Make Your Meetings POP. When I prepare for a meeting, I think POP (Purpose, Outcome(s), Process). When I send a meeting invitation to others, the invitation is organized as Purpose, Outcome(s) and sometimes Process.

When we start the meeting, we review the purpose, outcome(s), and process. For a recent meeting, this went something like “The purpose of this time together is to be updated on the partnership plans and to address our questions so that we can make a decision. Outcomes will be a go/no-go decision to move ahead with the partnership and a better understanding of the staffing and funding needs that will require. The process we’ll follow is to hear from Doug and Mike on the latest developments, to hear from Mark (our potential partner organization) about why they see this partnership as beneficial to their organization, and to decide whether to pursue putting the partnership together.”

I’ve found that going through this process personally before the meeting sharpens my focus to execute the meeting well. Going through this at the beginning of the meeting sets the tone and focus of the meeting that significantly increases the productivity of our time together.

I still have much to learn. Another article with great ideas is How to Run a Meeting Like Google. Imagine being a part of 70 meetings a week! Some yet-to-be-learned skills outlined in this article are use data to avoid politics and stick to the clock.

Another good article is Why Most Meetings still Suck by Michael Hyatt.

I’m on the journey to better meetings. What ideas, tools, and resources have you found helpful?

Here is a leadership idea I’ve found helpful. I facilitate a meeting twice each year for our leaders in technology from around the globe. One of the main focuses of these meetings is developing as leaders.

Our organization has adopted a leadership development framework. One of the roles of a leader is the spokesperson role.

At the conclusion of each GTL meeting, we develop talking points of our time together, developed in the language of leadership. Then each GTL member is to have a briefing meeting with their Director to talk through our GTL meeting using the talking points.

I normally write an email reminding them to meet with their Director. I include my report to my director as an example, and to show that I do what I encourage them to do.

I have found a webpage doing a very similar thing for an industry conference. I thought the conference webpage was a brilliant example of coaching conference attendees in their spokesperson role as they seek their boss’ permission. Of course, it is capitalism at work. The conference organizers aren’t really seeking to develop spokespersons as much as to get people to pay the $2300 to attend their conference! But they realize that by helping potential attendees to articulate smart outcomes from the conference, they increase the attendance, and increase their profits!

We should be doing a similar thing as we focus on the spokesperson role of those attending our meetings. Help attendees develop specific outcomes they are looking for, to communicate those with their leadership as they request permission and funding to attend.

Begin BEFORE the meeting by coaching people into developing and articulating their outcomes for the meeting, using the S.M.A.R.T. metaphor.

What do you think? What have you done to help others grow as spokespersons?

Ralph Wilson is a pioneer. We learned together, separated by 1500 miles. I was getting started in this thing we now call eMinistry or online ministry. I was launching Leadership University, Origins, stonewallrevisited.com (since discontinued), World Religions Index, Leadership University in Spanish and other sites. I was helping other organizations like Probe Ministries, Reasons to Believe, First Things Journal launch their internet presence which we hosted in exchange for sharing articles.

Ralph launched Web Marketing Today. And his ideas gave tremendous lift to my leadership growth.

My first contact was an email newsletter. I understood the technology of the internet, which my engineering background. I understood the ministry skills of online ministry, having spent 15 years in field and media ministry. Ralph helped me understand the marketing of the internet. His practical marketing insights drip with integrity and purpose. I have helped many others build strategic plans for their internet ministry presence through the Marketing + Delivery + Response = Effective Internet Presence paradigm. (Thanks to friend Rob Williams who developed the diagram above.)

I wrote Ralph earlier today:

Congratulations, Ralph, on 15 years of excellent service. You and I started together in our internet foray. We both started in the 1994/1995 timeframe. Your marketing ideas shaped my application of internet media to our gospel-based mission expressed through our websites. I’ve recommended Web Marketing Today to hundreds of others. You’ve been a good and faithful servant to so many. Well done.